The Desire of Getting Married
As human beings, we have many tendencies. And one of them is to get married when we grow up. Surprisingly, this general common desire fluctuates from one individual to another. The reason of this fluctuation comes from everyone perception. Perception is the belief that is leading one’s life. The intention behind the common desire differs from one to another. So as everyone has different perception, as the intention differs.
But in reality, there must be only one single intention behind the common desire to get married. Naturally, the common sense in the marriage is to bring two to become one. In the sight of the creator of marriage, two must become one to be perfectly completed.
Because, humans being were created with two principles such as: male principle and female principle. These principles are embedded in everyone regardless his gender. It’s like in every mind there are conscious mind and subconscious mind. If the conscious mind is the male principle, then the subconscious mind is the female.
They both must become one in mind for the mind to be perfect. The male principle and the female principle in everyone must become one for the individual to be perfect in balance. Without this union, there always will be a conflict within the individual. The perfect way of creating this union within human is to institute marriage. Why?
The marriage between male and female give birth to a child and the child is your consciousness. It is through this consciousness your life will enfold. In man, his male principle is dominant than the female principle. And for the woman, her female principle is dominant. The perfect balance is to bring the male principle and the female principle on the same level of consciousness. Meaning before you get married, the perfect union must be accomplished within yourself before it manifests outside.
Therefore, for man to marry woman is to create the perfect balance within each other. What we behold outside ourselves raise our level of consciousness. Woman awakes the female principle in man when they are together sharing the same consciousness of life; and vice versa. The man that is contemplating or observing the true self of his wife, will be awaken in him his female principle that will create a perfect harmony between them.
We are getting married for the sole purpose to help each other to be perfect in the expressing of life. The person that has this understanding does not run away from the marriage if something happened. For the person knows that before the perfection must be established, the imperfection must to be dealt with. By dealing with the imperfection, we are establishing the perfection.
Any man in this type of consciousness understands his wife, and he always finds himself in perfect bound with his wife. The couple will realize that they are complete in each other. They will not fight for personal gain or personal victory but rather they seek the evolution of both of them. They understand that instead of blaming each other, they rather seek the solutions that help their expressing of love more meaningful.
If human being is created in the image and the likeness of his creator, then man or woman must come to the perfect conscious of their male and female principle and live their life according to their nature. And one of the best ways to live this life is in marriage. But we fail to see this happening because of different environment we were brought from.
Many people are getting into marriage with the sole desire that their wife or husband has to give them happiness. How this could be? How is it possible that I will give my whole life to somebody to play with? Many through their living environment have a list of things they are expecting to see in their spouse. But how this can happen if we are not brought forth from the same living environment?
For instance, if from my environment, marriage means suffering and pain based on my experience. But yours could be joy and happiness? In this case how can we said the same thing when we talk about marriage? Even though we are using the same word to accomplish the same desire but the meaning and the intention behind it are different. My conception is different than yours. Let me explain this through this illustration.
Imagine two children: William and Jackie born in the same house. They have same father and the same mother. Their house represents for them their first influential environment then school, jobs etc. Environment is the composition of people, events, time, condition and space.
Now when they are growing up, and they are witnessing different characters and behaviors from their parents, they will eventually imitate these characters and behaviors. What will happen is that these children will manifest these characters and behaviors in their own daily life.
In this type of environment, imagine their father has a very good job and he provides well for the family. And their mother on the other hand, has job that paid less but still is responsible as their father. The situation seems to be lovable, but their father has a bad temper. His anger can turn to violence if nothing is done to cool him off. He gets angry easily, and yells at his wife anytime any moment when a little thing happened. Sometimes the stress can be unlivable.
His anger can cause him to throw things across the room and swear at his wife. His favorite word to justify his action to the children is: “your mother is sometimes difficult to live with. She is always like that. I really don’t understand women. They are complicate and get into your nerves for they don’t understand life. I am doing my best for this house, but for her it’s never enough”.
Later on, their mother who does not like to raise voice will talk to the children in sense of erasing what happened from their mind and explain how good their father is. But the problem is, herself was hurt and in the subconscious level she is seeking justice. Whatever she will tell the kids will not be authentic. And also the subconscious mind of the kids recorded already the event and stored up as belief in them.
At that moment If for Jackie, her mother attitude suits her own inclination; she will develop a strong connection with her mother. Even though she loves her father, her attitude towards him will be mixed with fear. But she will love more deeply her mother than the father. She will develop an attachment to her mother. In her behaviors, you can read the sign that she will act as she understands more her mother than her brother.
That’s how some people build close relationship in the family. For William, if he is inclined to his father attitude, then he will develop also the same attitude as her sister towards his father. Two children in the same family are developing different beliefs for their entire life. For Jackie, men are arrogant and violent, even if they can provide for their family.
Beside the daily living situation that is influencing them, the things that happened before they were born will also be a part of the influential element of these children’s future life. What I mean is anything that happened to a pregnant woman, affect the unborn baby. Any trouble a woman will go through while carry a baby affect this baby instantly.
For instance, when man abandon his pregnant wife or girlfriend, any feelings the pregnant woman will develop, will affect highly the life of the baby. If she hates her husband or boyfriend attitude, later on, the baby will also do the same as her mother. All the emotion distress the pregnant woman goes through will affect instantly the unborn baby’s life.
That’s why you will notice some children hate their father or mother for no apparent reason. The cause of this hatred was when they were in their mother’s womb. That’s how children are affected and hypnotized by their parent behaviors while they were not born yet.
Now for William: “women are complicate, they don’t understand life, and they can get easily into your nerves. You have to protect yourself against their actions. As much you can give to them, they want more. They are never satisfied. You just have to love them and because you need them”.
Now, what is happening here is that these children have been hypnotized by their living environment. None of them will grow up with pure and genuine attitude or behaviors. They will develop different personalities base on this hypnotize.
Their true nature was buried under these personalities. At this moment they already have what I call emotional wound. Anytime these children will remember their home, the images of their parent will also rise in their mind with all the data and emotions recorded. Their life choices will never be authentic.
Emotional pain in the body is one of the most suffering of humans in the face of the earth. Medicament will calm down the pain, but will never cure the disease. To cure this type of wound, many people use therapist for many years. Event after those years of therapy, the pain is never gone completely. Anything at any giving moment can revive the pain. This has to tell us how profound and serious emotional wound affect the life of human being.
William and Jackie attachment to their parents is different from one another. Honestly, they are not doing anything wrong. Furthermore, anytime Jackie will witness any woman treat by another man as nothing, she will experience a sort of revolt emotion within herself. She will feel as though she is the one the man is treating badly. The image of her mother and father will cross her mind.
William will avoid any woman with strong personality. Any lady that will be the opposite of his mother will never be his type. William will especially avoid ladies that have tendency to display self confidence. Independent or liberated women will not be a part of his dating experience. William is looking unconsciously for someone he can dominate as his mother was.
When you hear many people commonly said: “this person is not my type”. The question is, with what measure they are using? What kind of images in they are using if not the one their environment has created in them? they have a list of things collected from their hypnotizing environment to compare with.
As for Jackie, she will avoid arrogant man in her relationship. But the problem is by trying to avoid someone who is looking like her father, she will eventually marry her father in the person she will say yes to. For the fact that what you fear the most is what you attract.
As you can see, William and Jackie are living their parent’s life. They are not free in their choices. The environment has taken away from them their innocence. As long this hypnotism will remain, their life experiences are jeopardized. There will be nothing new in their daily life under the sun.
Through this illustration, we have come to the understanding that we are getting married with somebody we really don’t know. Your companion can be under different influences. A family environment, school or jobs influences. The real person is under hypnotism.
Is there any way to get out of this problem? Yes there is a solution for everything. The problem can be solved if you recognize your own state of mind. How do you do that? You do it by seeking to know the right meaning of all things. You get the right meaning of things by asking question with an intention to know.
Take the responsibility to restructure your own life. Put into denial all that you have known about marriage, about life. Seek to know the reality of marriage. Check your own motive, your own desire of doing things. Do you really want to get out of this hypnotism? Because you don’t want to play the old drama which script does not fit your time. But you want to play a new scene of life with the original script in which you are the main actors.
If yes, then you must check all your desires, your motive, and your intention behind every action. Find out what is the motive or the intention behind every desire of your heart. What is driven you? What is your belief about marriage? Why do you want to get married? What is the purpose of marriage?
Honestly speaking, the integrity and the honesty of your answer will always determine the circumstances of your life. No need to fool yourself. All this comes to one single thing. Even though it’s simple, but it requires the willingness of the heart. How far do you really, really love yourself? You don’t love yourself for anybody else. The more you love yourself, the more you discover who you really are.
The only time we discover ourselves is when we sit down with ourselves. You can do all, but if you fail to sit with yourself, then you will never know who you really are. We don’t have to fake things. We need to have a time for ourselves to think over on our life. Take time to contemplate your own life. Do it for yourself.
The same way we have the habit to go to doctor for checkup, is the same thing we have to do with ourselves. Your life will never change unless you ponder on it and change what need to be changed. We check our car to see if everything is okay; why not do the same thing with ourselves?
The amazing thing is, the moment you start asking yourself these questions; your heart is seeking the truth to be free from the hypnotism. The honesty of you heart seeking to know the truth will lead you to the truth. When the student is ready, the teacher appears we commonly said. Until you find the truth, the illusion that invaded your heart remains. At the presence of the truth hypnotism dissolves.
We are not supposed to marry the image in our mind. Marriage is not an imagination. It is a real living thing that we must know and live for. We are not getting married because the person is good looking or he/she is wealthy etc. what will happen if there is no more wealth to stand on? What happen if the rankles of the age is appearing? Marriage is real. Do we ask ourselves where the idea of marriage comes from?
The person you meet today has his/her own beliefs. Anytime two people are getting together, it is two beliefs system that are meeting. The one that is weak will be under the strong one until it finds the way to be expressed. But where there is truth, no other belief can penetrate your mind.
The truth becomes the guardian of your mind. This mind is a free mind. For instance if one mind of a relationship is free from hypnotism, that mind shines on the other mind to be set free from the bondage. The rapport of two free minds in relationship is not the rapport of husband and wife but of friendship.
The image we have in mind can fade away or be distorted by events or situations. But the person you choose is real, a living being who accept to walk on the path of life with you. Love yourself by being real to one another, and then marriage will reveal itself to you.