The impact of tradition on marriage.

Before we can talk about tradition and know their impact on our marriage, we must first understand the meaning of tradition and it purposes. Then after, we will understand and know what tradition is made of.  For the fact is, what you understand is what you know. And what you know is what you can manifest at will. Sometimes, we express or manifest things unconsciously, without our own conscious will because the things get a hold of our being.

Tradition in a very simple way means “the hand over or passed down of the doingness within a society or a community from generation to the next”. This hand over may vary from one society to another, and can have different characters. Regardless of all it characters, tradition has for sole purpose to guide the society it belongs to.

They are like the doingness hat prepared in advance for the community. This doingness is nothing else but the beliefs of a society. Maybe traditions are dedicated to be the guarantor of survival of it society. Traditions are like virtual guidance book of a community. Wherever the individual may be, this virtual book is working in him. The beliefs were passed on from generation to the next through family, community nation and world.

Our parents passed on to us the beliefs they have received from their parents and so on. The beliefs we’ve received are the shaper of our today’s life. The moment those beliefs or traditions shape our life, that imply that our life is not free in it own.

Our destiny was set by those traditions before we were born. Now let look what a belief is made of. Belief is made of thought and emotion. Emotion is the life force or the driven force of the thought in belief. Emotion in it own does not have any nature. It is the thought that gives its nature. That’s why we have bad as good as well traditions. Emotion can be compared to water.

 When you put salt in water, the water will become salty through the taste. And the same thing happen when you put sugar in water, the water will become sweet. Even though you don’t see the salt or the sugar in the water, but they changed the nature of the water. In the same way, thought gives it nature to emotion when it express. So thoughts are the nature giver to emotion at any given moment. The experiences of good and bad tradition depend on the thoughts of the tradition.  

Thought without emotion is nothing, useless and emotion without thought is emptiness. The evidence of this truth is proving in human body. There is no emotion within human body if there is no thought. It is impossible to have emotion without any thought in your mind. Before your body can react, there has to be a thought. We do things because there is a thought of that thing in our mind. Without any thought we cannot act nor do things.

Thought in reality is the ensemble of idea that conveys one reality. We use word to express the thought we have in our mind. Without thought, no word will be express. Different ideas on the same subject are combined to make thought of the subject. It is clear that the traditions passed on to us are nothing else but bunch of ideas to shape our life. These ideas are only information. Information can be wrong or true. Meaning, traditions are subject to false information.

Let use this illustration to explain very well the idea convey in this article. Sam is a gentleman born in Africa. After some school years of study, he came to America to finish his school. The traditions passed on to him become a strong belief in him. He perceives any circumstances of life through those beliefs.

Even though Sam left his country his traditions are with him, leading his life. In one of his tradition, it’s said: “man cannot express his full loving emotion to his lover. Woman job in the house is to have children, do the house shore and cook for her husband while the husband sits in the living room doing nothing. Husband cannot help his wife in the kitchen etc.”

Sam came to America while going to school met Jennifer. He loves deeply Jennifer and is willing to marry her. But his traditions are holding him back to express his emotions to Jennifer. Not the traditions alone are holding him back, but also all the data he recorded within himself about certain behaviors of some women in America. He is afraid. Sam will be in that condition as long as he will dwell in his beliefs.

Sam’s beliefs become the decision makers of his life. Nothing is possible unless the beliefs in him allow that to happen. It is his traditions which are describing in his mind the reactions of his family back home about get married here. The traditions became a person in Sam’s mind leading Sam’s own life. His beliefs become a personality in him, telling him what to do and what not to. He is not free at his own. Sam is in deep prison of his traditions.

Sam can think that he is a free man and living is free country but actually he is not. He is possessed by the beliefs of his community. If Sam want to tell Jennifer how he loves her, the voice of his “beliefs-personality” will tell him to not. If he dare do that, he will be tormented for a long period of time.

Before Sam can act freely, he needs higher ideas capable of taking down the veil that cover his face. The veil named beliefs-personality causing him unnecessary pain. Sam needs a help but he does not know that he is sick.

How many people in nowadays are like Sam without knowing? How many of them are treating their life partner as slave or prisoner without knowing? For the fact they are themselves in the prison of beliefs.  

Jennifer, a beautiful young lady born in America, finds herself attracted by Sam. She found herself loving Sam without any explanation. Can we explain why we love someone? I don’t think so. Jennifer is willing to settle with Sam. But there is a belief that is tormenting her. According to certain beliefs in Jennifer’s living environment, “man from Africa always has many wives waiting for him. A man from Africa is not a man you can trust. If you dare marry such man you are cursed.  For one day he will leave you for his country”.

Believing that belief alone is a curse. Jennifer is willing to be with Sam but her belief is creating a fear in her mind. She is scrutiny Sam to see if what she believe is right. Some of Sam behaviors are not help her to transcend the insecurity in her. Sometime Sam can be distant like someone who is in deep thinking. The drama of being alone left behind one day by Sam started already playing in her mind. Can you imagine, Jennifer saw herself in her mind dumped by Sam and leave for his country? She is in pain for what is not true.

Now as you can see it, Sam and Jennifer are victims of what normally suppose to guide or lead them. Their own beliefs are creating chaos in their life now. They are oppressed by their own beliefs. The question is: are we really free as we proclaim it? Even though Sam and Jennifer are living in a free country, they are still slave for the beliefs that are running their life.

However, Sam and Jennifer get married. Through some circumstances, they decided to be together. What is happening here is that Sam as Jennifer as well never dealt properly with the beliefs each one has. They received some advices from left and right and thinking the problem is over. Not at all, because what they have pressed down will rise up again to torment them. The issue of life must handle with and overcome by the truth for that issue to not come back.

After the la la land (the moment of joy), the drama of their beliefs will come back. Anytime Sam will be on the phone with his family back home, Jennifer will be very anxious. Her anxiety will have many assumptions such as:

v Maybe his family is not completely agree with him about the marriage

v Maybe they are proposing him another woman from his home community

v Maybe they are telling him the bad behaviors they have heard about women in her country

v Maybe they are oppressing him and proposing to him to send someone capable of breaking their marriage.

So after the call, Jennifer will try to know what the conversation was. If Sam dare not telling his wife the reason of the phone call, Jennifer will start living a nightmare. The insecurity created by the beliefs is coming more alive.

More assumptions will come to her mind. She will start notice a change in Sam behaviors. Sam needs to tell her every moment how he loves her, how they will stay together forever. At this point, Jennifer is not enjoying her marriage and Sam either.

In other side, Sam will observe Jennifer to see if she will display the behaviors to confirm his own beliefs. They forgot the existence of the universal law: “what you fear the most is what you attract”. Sam will try to find the way to resist the pressing of his family. Is Jennifer like the other women that he has heard about?

The traumatism of being betrayed by Jennifer will be his daily struggles. Here we see two peoples loving each other but cannot live freely, they are afraid to do so. They escape the now, the present time to live in the past. They have put on another jacket which does not fit this moment.

The only way to overcome their beliefs is to confront them. Put them on the table to discuss about it. Be open and honest with each other. Then, they have to doubt on their beliefs and seek the true meaning of marriage. They have to find the truth about marriage if they really want to enjoy each other. Marriage cannot be built on assumptions. Marriage is a personality that needs to be explored. Some questions need to be answered such as:

Ø Why do we get married?

Ø What is the purpose of marriage?

Ø Who do we get married with?

Ø What is the true meaning of being husband and wife?

Ø What is the difference between man and woman?

 Sam and Jennifer have to understand and know the answers of these questions. The moment they will understand the reason we get married and the purpose of life partner, they will instantly overcome their beliefs. They will know without any shadow of doubt that what they have stored up within themselves was a lie. And it is impossible to live with lie. They will become a family of experience and no argument or comment of that belief will overcome them anymore.  Sam and Jennifer will become a reference, an inspirational for many that are willing but are afraid to take their path. 

Imitation

The word imitation carries by itself a lot of connotations. When we look in the dictionary we find many definitions such as: “the act, practice, or art of imitating; mimicry”. But when we ponder on this, we find that human are doing or practicing something which supposed to help us, and change our community is in fact destroying our society. Then I’ve come to comprehend that we lack an understanding of imitating others.

The question is what to copy or who to copy? Who are we imitating? What is the true meaning of imitating? The understanding of these terms will give us the knowledge that will illuminate our mind about the subject. For the fact is when you don’t have the full understanding of something, it will be impossible to do that thing from its essence.  And if you are doing that thing, you are slave to the thing. Your freedom of action is disabled.

When your freedom of action is disable, you are not who you seem to be. In that sense, you are not yourself anymore. You become slave of what you are imitating. Imitation in one level disables human capacity of creativity. For it is through human genuine creativity that this world can be saved. Creativity is to bring into physical form your gifts and talents. Is to bring into the visible form what you know and your inner abilities. Like the dream of transportation generated en ideas of cars, air planes and we have these cars and planes today.

If the whole world is suffering today for food, decease, drug and so on; is because for many centuries, some people did everything in their power to teach others people to be only a consumer. Why? The real reason for this question is big enough to write many books. This is the real cause of deterioration of our societies. But the simple fact is that if everyone can create then the dependency will stop. If the dependency is gone, then the slavery will stop too. When human being knows himself, the whole human picture will change.

Knowing here is refers to your essence. It is only in your essence you find your inner potentials. What you have learned in this life constitute only one single thing. The doorway or a trigger to bring out the thing that is within. And what is inside is in a state of oneness with you. And to reach out to these gifts and talents you have to be in the same state of oneness.

So this knowing is embedded within your soul. You came here with and nobody can take it from you. It is you. Can you be possessed by anybody? Absolutely not. But when you forget about who you really are by imitating others only on the physical appearance, you are possessed by their consciousness.  

Your God given gift (abilities) for your journey on earth is put into sleep by the fact that you don’t know yourself. But the reason of your presence here on this earth is to help the humanity with your talents and gift. You have come to help build this world and make this planet a better place to live.

At the question of what make us imitating most of the time, the answer is, we honestly don’t have a full understanding of who we are. We think we know but in reality we don’t. When you know yourself, you don’t waist your time to imitate anybody or something. You have the ability to position yourself and take the right disposition. It is impossible for the one who come to the full understanding of who he is and fail. He cannot, even if he decided to fail.

The one who is imitating others or something else forget about himself. He just buried himself under the thing that he is imitating or the person of imitation. He closed his own eyes to see through the eyes of others. He lost his personality. He just buried himself in the tomb of ignorance.

Most the children have the desire to be like their father, but with times and ages, their desire change. The environment has changed their desire. You who are imitate others, where is your dream? Where is your own desire? What is the meaning of your life? Do you become a toy in somebody’s hands?

The achievement or the creativity of others inspires us to do more. It’s open up our eyes to see where we lack to see before. Its help us to change our perception.  They become a tool of inspiration to us. All we can use to bring about our inner creativity.

If we take our whole life to do what others are doing or copy their attitude, when are we going to be ourselves? It is by being ourselves that people will recognize our identity. Being your real Self is the key of life. You will be in perfect harmony with the universe you are living in.

In a worst case, some people completely forget about themselves and merge totally in the life of others. Either we accept or not, we all have God given intelligence. Everyone is intelligent in different degree of perception. When you perceive yourself as a tool for someone to use, it will be. When you believed that others don’t want your success, then it will be. Other may do this or that; where is your God given intelligence?

Do you believe that you are nothing? If you do believed this? Please this is the time to shake yourselves and get to know who is hiding in your own body. Ask a question that will help you to know. The questions that will bring you form the lower level of consciousness to the higher level of consciousness.

Nothing is impossible for the one who does not sleep and blame others. What happened was hurtful? Yes it was. But how am I defining tomorrow? What am I seeing now? Where do I want to go from here? What is my own attitude right now? How do I perceive the things of life? What types of feelings are running within me, shame, desperate, guilty? No matter what you are feeling now life still move on. It doesn’t stop.

A keen observer knows how to focus on one thing. For he want to have a real understanding about life and its purpose. He is open to life to teach him. He knows that those who brought their dream and vision into manifestation have to know something. These people possessed a type of knowledge. Without this type knowledge, they cannot be where they are. Instead copying their life style, let us find their knowledge to bring about our own dream and vision.

When you look at the cell phone today, it is obvious that it was many dreams or visions accomplished in that single cell phone. Different dreams were put together. The dream of communication, the dream of using phone as computer, the dream having a fun while communicating etc., etc.; all this came together as cell phone.

What is your dream or vision to help the humanity? What is the reason of your presence on earth? Be born, have diploma or not, get married or not, have children or not, have job and money; that’s your dream? This is a prison routine. Please my dear, life is offering you more than that.  Let us escape the mental slavery we put ourselves into and work to become the master of our own life. We are responsible for our own life. Let those who fulfilled dreams open up our eye to the dreams that are not born yet for the betterment of our planet.

Love you.

What a dream!

For so long I was waiting on a special time to be happy

I’ve hold and cherished in my heart this coming time

I’ve locked myself in the darkness of this belief

For I have believed in my belief

I was blind to the reality of the now

Dragging behind myself the shadow of this future time

My entire loved ones have left me alone

Not because they don’t love me anymore

Because I pushed them far away from me with my behaviors

And they have come to understand my choice.

Then one day I woke up from this illusive dream

I realized now what I have done to myself

I finally understood that now is the happiness

My beliefs made me turned upside down the love of my beloved

 Only love is able to help me reposition myself

And will make all understand that I woke up from the dream?